The question, most likely, is not "if," but rather "how many." How many times, depending on your age or the ages of your children, have you heard Kermit the Frog sing "It Ain't Easy Being Green," the Sesame Street standard in which the forlorn frog laments his lot in his amphibious life. I think of that song from time to time in both my professional and my personal life. As an educator and as a dad, the demands, as well as the joys, of job and fatherhood are often intertwined. It may not be easy being green, but it ain't easy being a parent either. Yet as parents, we all know that rarely, if ever, is anything so worthwhile ever easy.
Doug Lyons, the recently-appointed Executive Director of the Connecticut Association of Independent Schools (CAIS), reiterated this reality on two recent visits to The Country School: once when he spoke to the Parent Council and again when he addressed a recent faculty meeting. Director Lyons presented the case that a generation ago American society was more "kid-friendly" and looked after our children in ways that are different from today. It is important to note here - and I am confident that the families and faculty who have heard Doug speak would agree - he would not be characterized as a nostalgic curmudgeon who longs for the alleged "good old days," but rather presents interesting insights and perspectives on current issues with which we, as parents and educators, need to wrestle, independently as well as collaboratively. It can make for interesting and profitable conversation to discuss the relative merits of the popular cultural icons and social mores of a generation ago, with the current celebrities in sports, music, and the media who have varying degrees of access to and influence over today's children.
Relative to this, I had the occasion to hear child psychiatrist, Dr. Alvin Rosenfeld speak recently at an Independent School Head's conference. One of the stories he told during his talk makes an interesting starting point for a discussion of how we provide for, and how our youngsters interact in, today's world. Rosenfeld tells of a colleague writing about his "old school" childhood:
...my group of a half dozen eight- to ten-year-olds would often play for 15 minutes and then argue for a much longer period of time whether a runner was safe or out. Endless argument, negotiation, and reconciliation served as a rich, self-guided social laboratory. Winning was fun, but learning how to do so without alienating those on the other team, who might be your teammates tomorrow, was more important.
The hopeful news in all of this, of course, is that we are not alone in our endeavors to allow our children/our students, to not only be who they are now, but also to provide them with the opportunities which will enable them to become who they will be in the future. Certainly, parent-to-parent conversations are invaluable. The 8th Grade mothers and fathers who are working their way through the secondary school selection process with their third child, or the parents who are starting their third child in PreK, have important insights and experiences to share with folks experiencing these kinds of parental rights of passage for the first time. The more formal topical presentations organized by the Parent Council are complemented by parent conferences and teachers' reports, as well as less formal exchanges between parents and the school's teachers and administrators.
Doug Lyons spoke to this part of the home/school connection when he visited TCS. He quoted from the CAIS accreditation report for The Country School presented in May 2002 that said,
A spirit of compassion and generosity pervades the daily life of the school. Committee members were deeply moved by the sense of joy and affection evident throughout the school community… To a person, they seek to understand and support each student's strengths, needs, and potential…. In today's anxious and fast-paced society, TCS allows children to be children, reflect on their place in the world, and to have time to play and grow.
The Country School is a special place. It is important that we remind one another from time to time that we are more alike than different and, given the magnitude of the challenge we face to live the TCS mission, to educate the whole child, and strive to empower young people to reach their highest, not only in school but in life. We are all on this journey together - every man, woman, and child. And yeah, even fuzzy, green frogs too…
